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Dear Young MamaBear,
Being you means discovering what you like about yourself. Letting yourself feel good. Allowing yourself to try new things and being okay with failing. Being you means continually working on making yourself feel good about who you are. This can start with some positive self-talk.
Think about yourself from an outsider’s perspective. You would never tell another woman, that you love, the kind of things that you say to yourself every day. You wouldn’t tell her that she is kind of pretty except for that big butt. You wouldn’t tell her that she is stupid for not remembering to get something at the store. You wouldn’t say to your friend that she is broken because of the things that happened to her when she was little. Things that were out of her control. So don’t say those things to yourself.
Don’t let yourself feel like you are not whole. As though you are not worth much. As though you are ugly or stupid or fat. When you let yourself say those things to yourself, you will let others say that about you. You will believe those horrible things about yourself. It’s pretty impossible to be you, the real - amazing - beautiful you, if every day you say those negative, hurtful things about yourself.
You’ll have to change the way that you think. You will consciously have to stop yourself from going to those negative places. You will have to purposefully challenge yourself to think kind, positive things about yourself. This is something that I continue to struggle with.
I recently learned, from someone close to me, about a way to encourage positive self-talk on a daily basis. Every night before she goes to bed, she looks in the mirror and she says, “Today I am proud of you because…”. She ends each day with positive self-talk, even if it's been a really hard day. She comes up with something that she can be proud of about herself. This is a beautiful idea.
I am going to challenge myself every day for an entire month to do this. I will look myself in the eyes every night and tell myself why I'm proud. I am going to challenge myself to go one step further as well. Each morning, when I am getting ready for the day, I am going to look in the mirror and say 3 positive things to myself. I will repeat those like a mantra while I do my makeup and hair. Example: I am smart, I am confident, I am brave. I am smart, I am confident, I am brave. I am smart, I am confident, I am brave. I am going to commit to doing this for 30 straight days.
If you'd like to join me in challenging yourself with some positive self-talk, that would be great. Let me know if you do this by commenting on the blog. We can encourage each other and remind each other over the next 30 days. By the end of the month, we will begin feeling more confident, loved and positive!
I hope you will continue to join me on this journey.
Comment below and let me know if you decide to challenge yourself :)
Dear me-young, self conscious, hurting, scared, me,
I am writing this for you, so that you will know that you are worth more than you have ever let yourself think. You are worth more than anyone has ever told you. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are worthy of being loved in a healthy, real way. I know what you’ve been through. I know life is really hard. I know that being you is a big challenge. I know that really being the real you is extremely hard. You don’t have to be afraid to let yourself discover what that really means. You don’t have to be scared that no one will like you if they see all of the little things about you that you try to keep to yourself. You can be free from trying to be who you think everyone wants you to be.
You have a choice. Every day when you wake up you can decide that today I choose to be me. The real me. The raw, open hearted, free me. Yes, you will still hurt. Actually you will hurt a lot at first, because you will feel more. You will feel more pain, but you will also feel real joy and real peace. You can’t experience true happiness in your life until you decide that it’s okay to be you. It’s okay to let people in. Some people will still hurt you, but some people will love you in a way you’ve never experienced love before. And that alone will be worth it.
I am starting this blog to let you, and others out there like you, know the importance of being you. The importance of letting yourself let go of what’s holding you down. Letting yourself discover who you are, what you want out of life, what you want to look forward to, what you have learned from your past, what you have to offer the world.
I am writing this blog so that you will know that everything is going to be okay. Not everything is going to be perfect, but everything is going to be okay. Choosing things that you can do everyday to be okay with being you and be in a good healthy place within yourself is the starting point to all other healthy relationships you will have in your life moving forward. You won't be able to be a truly great mom or wife or friend or anything else you want to be, until you are good with who you are yourself.
There is hope for you, for sure. You can be all that you want to be and even more that you haven't even dared to dream up yet. You are already amazing and I believe in you. I am here to help you believe in yourself too.
I hope you will continue to join me on this journey!
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